<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Lesson Learned by le_paquet_fou</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26152459">Lesson Learned</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/le_paquet_fou/pseuds/le_paquet_fou'>le_paquet_fou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Growing Pains [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, No Beta We Die Like Clones, does it count as major if they're not technically canon? I say yes, im so sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:13:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26152459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/le_paquet_fou/pseuds/le_paquet_fou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>CT-7567 and the rest of his batch recently began training, and with that comes new things to discover and to aspire to. However, not all things are meant to be found out, and lessons must be learned.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CT-7567 | Rex &amp; CT-7563 | Nebula (OC)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Growing Pains [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>AOJAOP Universe</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Blinding lights wake him up, as they always have for the past few weeks. He squints into them as he leans onto his side and presses a button to let the bunk slide out of the sleeping pod. With blurry eyes, he reaches forwards and grips the ladder, practically falling into it before climbing down. He hardly has time to think because as soon as his feet touch the floor, he’s brought into a bone-crushing hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“67!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, 63,” he replies, voice a little choked as he wriggles out of the vice grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stars, you wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I found yesterday. I saw it on the way to one of the training rooms, I can show you when we pass it today. Oh, it was so cool, I can’t wait to show you!” 63 beams and bounces around as 67 rubs the sleep from his eyes and begins to go through the motions of the morning. The chatter of brothers wraps around him in a haze, adding to the blurriness he feels even as he starts to really wake up. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the fogginess and joins 63 on the bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hi… again…” 67 starts, nervously fidgeting with his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi again! 67, this is gonna be so cool, you’ll love it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A surprise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. A good one, don’t worry. Master Chief won’t get in the way ‘cause we won’t be doing anything against the rules. So, you’ll be safe.” 63 grins and pulls 67 into a gentler hug. 67 lets himself return a small smile, practically melting into the warm embrace. He wants to stay like this forever, to be warm and happy and safe, but this is Kamino; he knows it’s not meant to last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sharp snap of boots on the floor only serves to prove his point, snapping him from his daze. He tugs on 63’s shirt and they both stand at attention as their trainer appears. He doesn’t miss the glare sent his way, icy eyes piercing through his soul, before the trainer turns and barks for the others. 67 can’t help it when he reaches up and tugs at his hair, the same flimsy attempt at pulling it out that he’s done for as long as he can remember.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay,” 63 says, pulling 67’s hand away and taking it in his own. “You’re okay. Back of the line, Master Chief won’t see us and then I can show you the surprise. You’ll feel better after that.” 67 nods and lets himself be led to the back of the lines already formed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind starts to wander as soon as they’re out in the stark white halls, meandering to ideas of what 63’s surprise might be. He can’t think of anything he’s wanted to see recently, and there’s nothing that he either wants or can have. Maybe there’s a rogue animal from another cloning site? Or some mouse droids that won’t skitter away as soon as they get near? No, that idea seems stupid. Both do. What’s 63’s secret?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“67. 67. </span>
  <em>
    <span>67!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He nearly yelps as he feels himself being dragged away from the group, but a hand over his mouth stops it short. He breaks free and whips around, ready to attack, but his arms drop when he sees 63 grinning dopily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stars, 63, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The surprise. Look.” He leads 67 to the edge of the transparisteel wall, crouching so they’re not spotted by the people below. When he peeks over, he can see dozens of brothers sparring, their red and blue uniforms making them stick out against the grey training room floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cadets?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Command</span>
  </em>
  <span> cadets. We never see them, but I saw them yesterday and I knew you’d want to see for yourself. What do you think?” 67 pauses, unable to speak. Command cadets, practically legendary to CTs. Brothers they’re never allowed to see, hidden behind strict protocol, are just going through another training regimen like the rest of them. He can’t believe it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re really CCs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Heard one of the trainers call out ‘CC- something something’. I tuned it out after CC. But, point is, they really are. Thought they’d be different, I dunno. But cool, right?” 63’s eager grin is contagious, and 67 can’t help smiling back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… really is. I, um, thank you. I do feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome! And hey, maybe we can find out more about them later. We can make it a mission. You know, get information and stuff. It’ll be fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool! Maybe we can do more at lunch; we might be able to talk to them then. But let’s go now, I don’t wanna get you in trouble.” 67 nods and they shift away from the clear wall. He knows they won’t get caught, they’ve done things like this before, but it doesn’t stop his heart from racing as they quietly run down the halls, a list of punishments scrolling through his mind. He only calms down once they’ve rejoined their batchmates, their trainer none the wiser. Once he’s sure that they weren’t caught, he lets himself be excited for their new adventure. After all, it should be fun.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>63 is too precious, I love him so much. Him and Rex make an adorable cadet duo.<br/>If you wanna learn more about him or anything else about this fic, my tumblr is <a href="https://made-by-the-clone-wars.tumblr.com/">@made-by-the-clone-wars</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Questions, Answers, Progress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>67 and 63 find a CC cadet, and the mission presses forward.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took a lot longer than 63 would have liked to find the elusive CC cadets, and even more close calls with trainers and Kaminoans than 67 felt comfortable with. However, both of them had to admit that it was worth it considering where, and more specifically, who, they were sitting with at lunch today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, so you really have names?” 63 asks, stars in his eyes as the CC sitting across from him chuckles at his amazement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. And the trainers don’t mind all that much either. So long as the Kaminoans don’t know, we’re all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you get your names? Is there a system or something?” 63 asks, assuming the role of main investigator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just sort of choose it. Look in a textbook or something, wait until something clicks. That’s what I did, and now I call myself Tylo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was Tylo important?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I liked the name. Doesn’t have to be a normal name, though. See him over there?” Tylo says, pointing to a random CC. “He’s called Mech. And sitting next to him is Seal. So, it doesn’t matter to us what our name was before we took it. Better than just a string of numbers.” 63 and 67 nod in agreement and awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so cool,” 63 says, earning an awkward yet kind smile from Tylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it comes with being in command track, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think we could join? I really wanna be cool, and 67 here is a natural leader.” 63 wraps an arm around 67’s shoulder and brings him in close, grinning hopefully as 67 collapses awkwardly into his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, I dunno…” Tylo rubs the back of his neck and looks off to the side, his friendly expression turning unsure. “I’ve never heard of it, but I don’t think that means it can’t happen. If you want, I could ask around and tell you in a couple days if others have heard of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? Thank you so much!” 63 bounces in his seat and yanks 67 into a hug as Tylo laughs nervously. A chime sounds off in the cafeteria, and Tylo stands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah. No problem. I’ll talk to you two tomorrow, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, see ya!” 63 waves enthusiastically as Tylo leaves, unable to stop bouncing as he gets up. “Stars, 67, did you hear that? We could be command cadets! Can you imagine? We could be just like them, so smart and cool. I can’t wait to hear if it’s happened before. If not, we could be the first. How awesome would that be? We’d be legends!” 63 continues to run around as they try to find their group, too excited to help in the search. Not that 67 minds; if anything, he’s happy to see his brother so happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s always been like that between the two of them, for as long as 67 can remember. Sure, he’d lead his brothers in games and does so now in training drills, but 63 is always there with boundless enthusiasm, always hyping the others up. Always hyping </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> up. Where 67 is awkward and unsure, 63 leaps in with enough energy to power all of Kamino and then some. He shines so bright and warm, and is always so inviting. 67 can’t help but be happy when he is, and he would gladly give anything to make sure he’s alright. He wants to keep that light bright and warm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, of course he doesn’t mind as 63 practically bounces off the walls. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited himself anyways. Just the idea of joining the command track has him wanting to jump around giddily, not to mention actually meeting a CC and talking with him. A small part of him cautions him against getting too excited, but he can’t help it. He falls just as easily as the rest of his brothers to rumours and high hopes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, so probably not the best news, but news all the same,” Tylo says as soon as 63 stops bouncing in his seat. “There are no records, but I’ve heard a lot of rumours of CTs getting into the command track. It’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> slim chance, but you might possibly be able to get in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” 63 asks, practically leaping up onto the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get your hopes up. You gotta think like us. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Act</span>
  </em>
  <span> like us. They won’t just let any random CT in, if they do at all. It’s very likely you’ll just end up punished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can do that. And we won’t get punished, because we’ll be the best!” Tylo looks at him skeptically, but shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I can’t stop you. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 63 nods enthusiastically as Tylo gets up and walks away from them to sit with other CCs. Before 67 can even start to think, 63 is standing and jumping up and down, holding onto his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you hear that? We could be part of the command track! We actually could! I mean, we’ll have to put in effort. Study a lot too. But we can do that! Aren’t you excited?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He did say they were only rumours…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But rumours have to come from some truth, right?” He stays silent, and 63 deflates a little. “Come on 67. You want this too, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… and I want to believe it’s true… but if it’s not? We’ll get in trouble, and they’ll take me away. I’ll die. I don’t wanna die…” He hates that there are tears in his eyes. This was supposed to be a happy moment, something exciting, something for them to look forward to. Now he’s crying and 63 is upset. If he wasn’t so scared, if he could just look like everyone else--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay,” 63 says, sitting down next to him and gently pulling him into a hug. He takes 67’s hands and pulls them away from his hair, giving them a little squeeze before running one hand softly through the golden curls. “It’s okay. I won’t let them hurt you, I promise. I’ll keep you safe. We can only use our free time if you want. Just study at the library. We don’t have to do anything more than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… are you sure? I, well, it would be mean to stop you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. This is for both of us. No point if one of us isn’t comfortable, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then that’s that. Free time only, and library studying. It’ll be a good way for me to find a name anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you… thank you so much…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it. Now, library time!”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And the story continues. Buckle up though, it'll go downhill real soon.<br/>Come yell at me over on tumblr, I'm <a href="https://made-by-the-clone-wars.tumblr.com/">@made-by-the-clone-wars</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Library Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time in the library leads to 63 finding his name and 67 deciding that maybe it'll be alright.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>67 finds the library relaxing. It’s quiet and separate, giving the feeling of a safe corner in the massive city. He likes sitting down and skimming through holobooks on strategy, and he finds it much more calming than risking his life to try and pop in on a lesson or two meant for the CCs. There are times to break the rules, when they’re not fair and they hurt rather than help, but now isn’t one of those times and he would much rather sit in the corner of the navy coloured library and go through as many books as possible in one sitting. He can tell, though, that 63 doesn’t feel the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While 67 is in the corner consuming books at an alarming rate, 63 is splayed out on the ground in front of him, lazily flicking through the same book over and over again. He really did try the first few times to be interested, but he couldn’t stay focused on the dull words of a strategy book. It didn’t take long for him to give up and instead find a book that he’s at least interested in while 67 pores over hundreds of digital pages on war tactics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he skims through the book for the eighth time, he keeps on hoping that a name or word will leap out at him, but so far it gives him nothing except pictures of stars and supernovæ. The pictures, though, don’t fail to amaze him as his mind wanders to the stars above them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey 67?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever wish we could go to space?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not… really. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. I just really wanna see the stars. They’re so pretty, and we never get to see them here except for pictures.” 63 rolls onto his back and lifts his arms up to the ceiling, splaying them out as he talks. “I wanna go up there, see them for myself. Imagine what it would be like to see them ourselves. They’d twinkle in the background and light up all of space around them. And you know, they’re really fascinating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They all look basically the same from far away; some might be duller and some brighter, but all of them are different, you know? Like, made of the same stuff but all so different. Some have planets and life, some don’t. Some are even different colours and sizes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and you ever see where they come from? It’s these colourful gas clouds, and they’re huge! They can fit so many stars in them, and they’re just the prettiest things in the universe. They’re what I want to see the most. They’re called, uh…” He pauses in his rant, picking up the holobook and flipping through it until he finds the word. “Nebulæ… nebula…” His voice fades away, and it clicks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, 63? You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nebula.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name. I want to be called Nebula.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- are you sure? Maybe we should stick to finding names </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> we get in command track, so the Kaminoans don’t come after us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can wait, but I want this. Like Tylo said, it’s better than a string of numbers. It just… feels right.” 67 nods, and 63, now Nebula, beams back at him. His face falls, though, when he sees 67 start to fidget with his sleeves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me you won’t get caught. I… you and I, if the name gets out, we’ll be in the same boat, and that boat is terrifying. I don’t… just… please…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise I won’t get caught. We’ll both be safe, and we’ll make it to command track. We’ll be the best they have.” 67 smiles faintly, and Nebula returns it. “Here, I’ll sit with you and read the book. I… uh, probably should have been reading that anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S’alright.” The silence of the library covers them like a blanket as they curl around the holobook, the comforting weight of each other starting to finally put 67 at ease. The combination of calm and boring strategies, though, leads to a wandering mind. As his thoughts run away from him, he hits a realisation that, while he doesn’t like, is very much true. It takes him time to argue with himself, to weigh the pros and cons, but he finally comes to a hesitant yet no less important decision. “Y’know, 6-Nebula. I… it wouldn’t be bad if we checked in on the CCs sometimes while they trained.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, there’s only so much we can learn from books. It’s all the same, it’s all boring, and we don’t even get to see what it’s like. So, I’m willing to check it out every now and again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Nebula leaps up off the ground, bouncing around with a giant grin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only sometimes. I’m still scared, but… really there’s no better way to learn than to watch. And we </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to stay hidden. Duck behind the walls and stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it! Oh I’m so happy, thank you thank you thank you!” He pulls 67 into a rough hug, squeezing the air out of him and slowly crushing his ribs. 67 would be upset, but he can’t find it in himself to be. Nebula made sacrifices for him, so it’s time he made some as well. And besides, they’ll be cautious. It can’t be that bad.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And 63 gets a name! I loved creating Nebula so much, he's my son. I hope y'all love him as much as I do.<br/>Also, brace yourselves for the next chapter. Angst incoming.<br/>I'm <a href="https://made-by-the-clone-wars.tumblr.com/">@made-by-the-clone-wars</a> on tumblr, feel free to come over and chat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Caught</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>67 and Nebula have a normal adventure, but things go south very, very quickly.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>67’s scared. It squeezes his chest, even when Nebula takes his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Kind smiles, soft touches, none of them help him right now. He’s done this before, he’s well versed in sneaking around the sterile halls, but something feels off. No matter what he does, he can’t shake the bad feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally there’s a thrill to sneaking around. He knows he’s doing something bad, but there’s a part of him that’s excited and drowns out any doubts. That’s what happened when they used to dip into the supply closets for hide-and-seek or run away from the medbay early. But it’s different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not because of what they’re doing. Not exactly. Yes, he was scared when Nebula first took him to spy on the CCs, but that became fun. Their adventures leaked from free time into skipping the majority of their meal time, and beyond that into the middle of their sleep cycle. And it had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s just anxiety. He’s just a little scared because he was so distracted before, and now it’s catching up to him. Doesn’t mean that it’s actually a bad day. Or maybe it’s the little squeaks of mouse droids that puts him on edge. Maybe it’s nothing at all, and he’s just tired. That has to be it, right? He hadn’t slept much the past few days, he’s just tired. He shouldn’t be scared just because he’s tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re okay? I really don’t mind going back if it makes you feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m alright. Really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise.” 67 smiles, and the feeling starts to fade. Yeah, it was just being tired. He huddles next to Nebula by the small strip of durasteel wall, peeking over the edge to see an empty grey floor. It doesn’t stay empty, and soon command cadets file in with groggy footsteps. One of them looks up and gives a quick wave, setting off a small ripple of discreet yet no less friendly greetings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They know this group well by now. They were caught early on, but the cadets didn’t say anything to their trainers or the Kaminoans overseeing them. They’re nothing but kind to the two of them, managing to sneak a word or two to them at the end of their practice. Nebula once scored a high five from one of them, and had been bouncing off the walls the rest of the day. So, fair to say they were well known and well liked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watch in fascination as the CCs below them spar, a simple exercise and one they learned is only a warm-up for their practice. Nebula can’t stop bouncing in giddy excitement, and 67 doesn’t stop the stupid grin from spreading across his face. They’re both glued to the giant window, focused purely on memorising the movements of the cadets below them so they can mimic it later and practice being like the command cadets, not paying any mind to the soft footsteps down the hall growing closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cadets, what are you doing?” 67’s spine turns to ice, and a bottomless pit forms in his stomach. He whips around in a panic, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out as he stares up at the emotionless face of the Kaminoan. He can feel the dark eyes judge him, scan over him and observe every single imperfection he has to offer, and he wants to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he do this? Why did he think even for a moment this was a good idea? Why wasn’t he sensible? Why didn’t he just listen to the rules, get Nebula to listen too? He should have done something, anything, to prevent them from being here. But he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, sir. We were just looking at these cadets to learn what will be ahead in our training, to be prepared,” Nebula says, confidence radiating from him even though 67 knows otherwise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“During your training hours?” 67 can see Nebula falter. He can see him start to shake, he can see the realisation set in that he made a mistake, and it’s that exact moment that 67 knows he can’t let Nebula suffer the consequences.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was my idea, sir,” he says, and Nebula stares at him with wide eyes. “I just thought that maybe we could get ahead, and do better. And, I thought it would be fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fun? Are you more interested in fun than your training, 7567?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ye--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s lying! He’s taking the blame for my idea. If there’s anyone to punish, it’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, stop. It clearly isn’t you, I’m the defective one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t… please, 67… Sir, you have to believe me that it isn’t him. I mean, I’m the one with a name.” 67’s heart stops, and he looks over to Nebula with wide eyes. The Kaminoan looks down at both of them, her disappointment palpable, and 67 shrinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You both are clearly deviant. You’ll be taken to questioning for now, and your punishment will be decided later. Up, follow me.” He can hardly push himself off the floor. When he stands, he’s sure his legs will give out and send him crashing down. He can’t even think, his mind empty except for the fear starting to gnaw at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Nebula follow silently, neither of them even daring to whisper to each other. Of all the things that could scare 67, that scares him the most. He wants more than anything for Nebula to start talking, to tell him everything will be alright and that it’s just a minor bump in their plan. But Nebula is mute, and 67 knows that they’re as good as dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re brought to a room they’ve never even seen and told to wait there. As soon as the door closes behind the Kaminoan, 67 drops to the ground, bringing his knees to his chest and staring at the opposite wall. He stays quiet when Nebula sits next to him, resting his head on 67’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t think of anything to say. Nothing that can explain what he feels, anyways. I’m sorry, I should have known better, I should have stopped us, I love you, please don’t leave me? None of that is enough. He won’t have enough time to clumsily say all the things he wants to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this what it’s like for you all the time?” Nebula asks, his voice small.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you always this scared?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> scared. But yeah, all the time. Well, most of the time. I feel okay at meal times, or when you start talking to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” 67 trails off, and they both go quiet. He leans his head gently against Nebula’s and grabs his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze the same way Nebula had done for him more times than he can count. “It’ll be okay. It’s scary, but we’ll be fine. I mean, we didn’t do anything bad. Maybe we get a punishment, but we’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m sure they just do this because they have to. Regulations and all that. We’ll be safe.” He does his best to sound confident as he brings Nebula into a hug. He doesn’t say anything when he hears Nebula cry softly, nor when he pulls away to wipe tears from his eyes and try to smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m sure we could turn this into a story. We survived a stupid stunt, and stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We should, when we get back to our batch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. We’ll be so famous then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You get the credit for talking us out of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well of course. I did so well, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Nebula smiles faintly, and 67 feels his heart start to break. Nebula doesn’t deserve to be so scared. 67 would do anything to keep him from feeling like this ever again. Nebula is bright and warm and everything that is good in a person; people like that deserve to be happy and safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“67?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the best brother I could ask for. I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too…” The door hisses open, and two Kaminoans step in. 67 can’t help shrinking away from them, even when they stay by the door and refuse to get closer. Nebula takes his hand and holds it tight as they wait for instructions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CT-7563, come with me. CT-7567, you will stay here.” 67 can’t help holding onto Nebula’s hand tighter when he gets up, a silent plea for him to stay. Nebula smiles softly and gives his hand a squeeze before gently letting go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S’alright. We’ll see each other after, right?” 67 nods, and Nebula does his best to keep the gentle smile on his face as he leaves. 67 ignores the tears welling up in his eyes, and does his best to stop his own from falling as the door shuts behind Nebula.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CT-7567, please stand up for questioning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>67 lost track of the number of questions after thirty seven. His mind feels numb now, every little piece of information he could have possibly had drawn out of him by the Kaminoan. He feels drained, empty, exhausted. He’s so tired now…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s been sitting alone in the room now for two hours, with nothing to distract him except his thoughts swirling lazily around his head. He’s almost certain they’ll terminate him; he’d be surprised if they didn’t. But he’s more worried about Nebula than himself. He’s gotten past the fear of his death at this point, morbidly accepting of it now, but Nebula? He’d lose it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hiss of a door opening snaps him from the lull of his mind, and he shoots up to his feet as the Kaminoan walks back in. Those giant, grey eyes peer down at him, dissecting his soul as he stands at attention. In a horribly twisted way, he feels proud that he isn’t shaking as the Kaminoan scrolls through a datapad, undoubtedly filled with all of the reasons he will be terminated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CT-7567, correct?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an… interesting case. Defective, yet not the one leading others to trouble as you are inclined to do. We will give you this one chance to prove you can rise above your predisposition and that you were simply manipulated or bribed into this. Disciplinary action will have to be taken, of course; you still must be punished for your actions. Your trainer will see to it as he sees fit. Do not blatantly break the rules again, or your punishment will be much more severe. Do you understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir. And, uh, may I ask a question?” The Kaminoan’s eyes narrow, and 67 fights back his urge to flinch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What will happen to 63?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have yet to determine that. Now come, you must go back to your batch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir.” He follows the Kaminoan out of the room and down the sterile hallways, resisting the urge to fidget with his hair. He’s safe. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Nebula, the blame is on him, he knows it, but he’ll get out free. If he’s still alive to tell the tale, Nebula will be as well. After all, he’s defective and Nebula isn’t. It just makes sense. So why is that bad feeling still there?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He climbs quickly into his sleep pod once he reaches the barracks, the others already fast asleep. It doesn’t take long for his mind to drift into the dark blanket of sleep, his night empty of dreams. It’s peaceful, and lets him escape from the anxious feeling starting to gnaw away at him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry :,)<br/>Tumblr's <a href="https://made-by-the-clone-wars.tumblr.com/">@made-by-the-clone-wars</a>, I'm always up for an ask.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Lesson Learned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm so sorry.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Blinding lights wake him up, as they always have. He squints and holds up his hand to shield his eyes as he presses the button to let his bunk slide out. He feels even more exhausted than normal, and almost misses the ladder entirely. He half-climbs half-falls down the ladder, dropping to the ground with a thud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rubs the sleep from his eyes as he goes to the refresher for the morning, completely missing the wide-eyed stares his batchmates are giving him. He doesn’t really care, he’s too tired. Even when he does start to clear the fog from his mind, anxiety replaces it quickly. Where’s Nebula? He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> up before him. They can’t have kept him that long, right? Is he okay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s at the back of the group when his trainer walks in, a gap where Nebula would have usually been by his side. Hushed murmurs wash over the group, and 67 tries to look over the heads of his brothers to see what’s going on, but a stern look from his trainer has him backing down and shrinking in on himself. The trainer silences the group before clearing his throat to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cadets, as I’m sure you’re now well aware, one of your batchers is missing. To get this out of the way, I’ll put it bluntly: he was terminated. He went against regulations, ensnared another cadet in his schemes, and was trying to break rank. That simply cannot be allowed. So, welcome your new squadmate, CT-5261.” The whispers come back, everyone turning to look at each other, but 67 doesn’t move. He doesn’t think he could even if he wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terminated. Impossible. Nebula was… he… he was everything right with this universe. Warm and bright and comforting and just… perfect. He can’t just be terminated, thrown away like a broken droid. That’s… that’s not how it works, that’s not what happens. 67 should have been the one to get terminated, not Nebula. Nebula is… was… too good… was… </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>67 starts to cry. He doesn’t understand it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand it. It makes no sense. Nebula was everything 67 wasn’t, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But now? Now he’s… he’s… gone… and he’ll never see him again…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he can do is stare at the floor as tears stream down his cheeks silently. He doesn’t say anything when 5261 stands next to him, taking Nebula’s spot. He doesn’t even look up at him because he knows he’ll see Nebula’s face without seeing his eyes, or feeling his comforting touch, and that’s too much for him to bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He refuses to talk when the others go up to him. He doesn’t say a single word through all of his training that day, just going through the motions like a droid. Even when his trainer pulls him aside to lecture him and dish out punishment, all he can do is give a faint nod every once in a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His punishment isn’t even that bad. Five weeks of work around Kamino instead of free time, helping janitors and doctors with the worst parts of their jobs. He just doesn’t understand how he gets away unscathed while Nebula is…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t think about it. He can tell he’s on the verge of hysterics, and if he thinks about it for even a second longer he’ll completely lose it. So he doesn’t think. He shoves his feelings deep down inside where even he won’t know they’re there, and continues on with the day in a daze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they head to the barracks, the others keep a good distance from 67. He understands why, honestly he’d probably do the same, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting any less. Although, he supposes he deserves it, at least a little. The mutant survived, and the beloved died. That just doesn’t happen, not without some karma for the mutant getting away unharmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He climbs the ladder to his bunk, nine pairs of eyes watching his every move. He’s not sure if it’s the pressure from his brothers or a sudden wave of grief and guilt, but he hesitates by Nebula’s bunk. The new brother will take his spot there. When he sleeps there, he’ll completely replace him, fully erase his existence. 67 can’t bear the thought of that. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> let the last shred of Nebula’s life be taken from him. So, he pushes himself up onto that bunk and lets it slide back into the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t sleep. He hears the others talk, hears them clamber into their bunks before falling asleep, and he’s still awake in the darkness. Awake, and alone, with no one to stop his mind from wandering to places he’s tried so hard to keep it from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grief seeps back into his bones, guilt settles in his stomach, and depression chills him to his core. He feels so sick, so tired, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>empty</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Tears sting his eyes and fall down his cheeks as his throat starts to tighten from fighting them back. He doesn’t want to cry; he wishes he could just suck it up and move on like the others have, but he can’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he wanted was to feel warm and happy and safe. He never asked to be treated fairly, he never asked to be treated like a human, he just wanted to feel wanted and loved. And, above all, he wanted Nebula to be safe. But, this is Kamino. All good things are never meant to last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabs the blanket around him tightly, holding it close to his chest as he curls up around it. This is the last thing of Nebula’s. This is all he has left. More tears fall, and he buries his head in the blanket as a sob slips from his mouth. One follows, then another, and soon he’s in hysterics, crying out for Nebula in the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a long time for him to calm down. When he does, he stares blankly at the wall, sniffling as he wraps himself in the blanket. He feels nothing now. All the excitement, all of the joy, it’s gone. The only thing left for him is the rules. Follow them, live on, don’t let Nebula’s memory die. That’s all he has to do from now on, and he’ll do his best to do everything asked of him. For Nebula.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm a cruel god to these poor clones. I'm so sorry for your hearts.<br/>Come yell at me at <a href="https://made-by-the-clone-wars.tumblr.com/">@made-by-the-clone-wars</a> on tumblr, I'd love to talk more about this fic and answer any questions if you have any.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>